Why It’s Outdated — But Still Messing With Our Minds in 2025
You know that invisible stopwatch that starts ticking the moment you’re born?
The one whispering deadlines like:
“You should have it figured out by now…”
“You’re behind…”
“It’s too late…”
Here we are in 2025:
AI is reshaping industries.
Women are freezing their eggs between Zoom calls.
People go viral and reinvent their lives overnight.
Politics are so unstable we barely know what next week holds…
And still — that damn clock has a grip on us.
What Is the Social Clock?
It’s a term coined by psychologist Bernice Neugarten in the 1950s to describe the socially constructed expectations about when major life events should happen.
Think:
- Move out by 18
- Graduate by 22
- Marry by 30
- Have kids before 35
- Retire at 65
It’s invisible, but deeply ingrained — quietly shaping what we believe success should look like, and by when.
But here’s the truth:
The social clock isn’t biological.
It’s not scientific.
It’s a dated script — and it’s long overdue for a rewrite.
So Why Does This Clock Still Control So Many of Us?
Even in a world that’s radically evolving, the social clock keeps sneaking into our decisions. Here’s why:
1. We’re Wired for Belonging
In our tribal past, survival depended on fitting in.
Today? It’s not lions we fear — it’s judgment.
We still crave approval.
And the social clock? It feeds that hunger by offering a “normal” to measure up to — whether or not it actually fits our lives.
2. Our Brains Don’t Auto-Update
Even when we know things have changed, our minds cling to old timelines.
This is called anchoring bias — a psychological tendency to hold onto early beliefs (like “I should be married by 30”) long after they stop making sense.
Rewriting your life script takes intention.
The social clock, meanwhile, just keeps ticking away quietly in the background.
3. Shame Is the Enforcer
Too old to start over?
Too early to slow down?
Not where you’re “supposed” to be?
The clock doesn’t just nudge — it judges.
Shame is its favorite tool.
And shame? Keeps people stuck.
4. Our Systems Are Still Stuck in the Past
The world evolved, but many of our institutions… didn’t.
- Retirement planning still assumes 65.
- Fertility conversations still ignore modern science.
- Most careers still reward straight ladders, not zigzags, pauses, or pivots.
Tech moved forward.
But the timeline? Still running version 1.0.
5. Freedom Can Be Frightening
More choices should mean more freedom.
But often, it just means more pressure.
This is the Paradox of Choice — when too many options leave us frozen, anxious, or second-guessing.
So what do we do?
We reach for rules.
And the social clock offers just that — even if it’s outdated, irrelevant, or wrong.
My Story: I Broke the Clock
I’ve played by the rules. And I’ve walked away from them.
- Left home at 18
- Master’s in International Relations by 24
- Worked for the UNPO, MSM, S.Oliver, Getronics
- Launched Mindbreeze, my own coaching & training biz
- Had my first babies just before turning 36
On paper, I was “on track.”
But life — as it tends to — had other plans.
- I grieved the loss of our daughter
- Moved countries — twice
- Homeschooled three kids on a boat in Dubai
- Finished two Half Ironmans in my late 40s
- Rebuilt a life in Portugal from the ground up
- Led an international swim team while navigating menopause, motherhood, and reinvention
And now?
I’m 56.
With a metabolic age of 41 (just saying).
My kids are off chasing dreams around the world.
The house is quieter. But the spark in me? Louder than ever.
I’m not done. I’m just getting started.
Not because the world says “now’s the time.”
But because I say so.
It’s Time to Break the Clock
So what do we do?
We call out the clock for what it is: a leftover relic.
We stop measuring our worth by timelines that don’t reflect who we really are.
We start writing new definitions of success — ones built on truth, not tradition.
Because here’s what I know for sure:
- You’re not too late.
- You’re not off track.
- You’re not behind.
You’re evolving — in a world that hasn’t fully caught up to your possibility yet.
I lived the script.
Then I tore it up and wrote a better one.
And so can you.
Create Your Own Rhythm
You don’t have to listen to that ticking in the background anymore.
You get to:
✨ Say yes when it feels right
✨ Move at the speed of your soul
✨ Redefine success on your own terms
If someone tells you you’ve missed your moment?
Smile.
Keep going.
And keep saying YES to life — in your time, in your way, again and again and again.
